Glimpses

Saturday, March 16th: "3 Hard Eucharisteos"
I don't like these, I don't wanna write about them, it's painful. (Hence the fact that I'm finally doing so two days late.) I've been battling a hard fight against loneliness, it's an oppressive thing, an unwelcome thing, dare I say a selfish thing, a sinful thing? Ouch! Sometimes it's easier to be lonely than content with where I'm at, easier to wallow in self-pity than rejoice with those who rejoice, easier to focus on the pain than the beauty brought out of it, easier. Don't get me wrong, loneliness is a real, painful feeling, and when we're there, God meets us where we're at, but I think it's the staying there, the dwelling on it, that's selfish. I say all that because the three hard things I have to be thankful for are hurts when I choose loneliness, and blessings when I choose joy.
Breathe in, breathe out...

1. Wedding season. A year ago when wedding season was approaching, I was full of excitement and counting down the days! I love weddings! But lately, each new engagement announcement and sparkling wedding invitation in the mail brings a sting of pain. A glaring reminder kind of pain. But with those memories, I need to also remember my joy when I was in that season and how I wanted EVERYONE to share in it! Weddings are still beautiful, joyful occasions and absolutely an event to be thankful for! So while I'll be walking through this season one day at a time, clinging to my Savior, I know He can give me the strength to give thanks for each new marriage!
"His strength is made perfect in my weakness"

2. Glimpses. Lately God has been showing me that through my heart break I'm given tiny glimpses into the pain I cause Him when I reject Him, when I choose to listen to my flesh, when I choose to ignore the Spirit. Tiny glimpses. I may think I've been rejected after giving my all, but Christ really did give His ALL, and I still reject Him daily! I'm thankful for this new perspective hopefully resulting in a fuller surrender, but more than that, I'm thankful for Christ's sacrificial, unconditional love for me!!

3. Time alone. I don't have much to say about this, other than: when I am alone, and wishing I wasn't, that's when I have the sweetest time with my Savior! He never let's me really be alone, He's always right there. Who am I to deserve such a blessing?!



Sunday, March 17th: "A Gift turned, folded, hung"

After all of that painfully raw honestly, I'm gonna give thanks for some more shallow blessings, but blessings none the less! :)

1. Pumpkin pancakes turned (flipped:) on the hot griddle.
2. A soft, warm fleece blanket folded on my bed.
3. Way too many clothes hung in my closet.

Monday, March 18th: "3 Gifts Red"

1. Sundried tomatoes in my scrambled eggs.
2. Fuzzy red pajamas on a cuddly baby.
3. Words of encouragement and challenge from the "Desiring God" blog. (Their logo is red! :)