Amazing Grace

Well I'm behind... again... but this time I have a better excuse, God has been doing SO much in my mind and heart and I had to wait until I had adequate time to record His gracious work in my life!

First of all, I love Easter, my favorite day of the year, but with the anticipation of Easter come the memories of Easters past, and my past two Easters bring some painful memories. I think those painful memories are at the core of Christ's working in me. This past week has left me lonely and searching for fulfillment in all the wrong places, and it wasn't until this morning that I realized the painful memories of my last two Easters were the reason for this searching. This leads me to the first list of three blessings, "3 gifts entwined": Brokenness, confession, forgiveness. These attitudes didn't come right away, but when I started to realize what I was doing in trying to fulfill my loneliness with ANYTHING but Christ, oh the tears came. First because there is zero fulfillment outside of His love, and second because of the heart break I caused my Savior, yet again!

Usually after a period of deep brokenness, confession and forgiveness, I struggle with guilt. I'm happy to accept the initial wave of freedom and forgiveness, but then the devil tries to get me back down with shame and guilt! This brings me to the second list of three blessings: "3 gifts of His promises". In the midst of my shame and guilt my Savior gently whispered, "I love you" "I have a plan for you" "I am WITH you". When He's showering me with those promises I wonder how I ever got lonely in the first place!

Now, despite the love and promises from my Savior, I still seem to think that I deserve less from people, that because of sins I've struggled with, mistakes I've made, that I'm damaged goods. That's a lie! Not because I in myself have any worth, but because I have the Holy Spirit living in me and when my God looks at me He sees His perfect Son! I am a new creation! Which now brings me to the third list of three blessings: "3 gifts uncovered". What He uncovered for me where things I've known my whole life, but things I had forgotten, or maybe just lost track of: I am a daughter of the King, I am a new creation in Christ, I am loved.

It was an emotional, confusing, beautiful few days! But guess what was the culmination of all of it! CHRIST IS RISEN FROM THE DEAD! Easter couldn't have come at a better time! I was so ready to celebrate His resurrection! The fourth list of three blessings: "A gift heard, held, hoped for", Hallelujah, it is DONE! I get to live in the light of the empty grave! My gentle Shepherd is leading me home.

Happy Easter! Sunday is here, and the tomb is empty!