A Safe Place

Thursday afternoon at 3:38pm I received a phone call that may very well have changed my life. "Tracie, we have a 3 year old girl that needs a place to stay for the weekend, can you help?"
It's difficult to describe the range of emotions I experienced from the time I received that call to the time I dropped the sweet little girl back of with her mom, but I want to try. I want to share with you what I learned this weekend, Safe Families is a beautiful ministry and I want to share my first experience with as many who will listen.

Little miss and I began our weekend with a trip to Target, she picked out a Sophia coloring book, Minnie Mouse pj's and Fruit Punch juice boxes. She didn't beg for excess, but was elated to have some new things all her own. We spent the evening playing outside, building puzzles, and reading books until she crawled up into my lap and fell asleep. Friday night was a long one as she needed lots of reassurance that she wasn't alone and that she was indeed safe. I was so thankful to have my parent's help as Saturday was another full day of playtime and lots of reading, I think she could've counted the 10 little lady bugs all day long! Sunday we got up early and had a busy day, she loved Panera with the choir and couldn't get in to Sunday school fast enough! The morning's hustle resulted in a 3 hour nap before it was time to go see mommy.

So what did I learn from this whirlwind of a weekend? First, I take EVERYTHING for granted. My time, my space, my health, my family, my job, my support system, my upbringing, my church, and I could go on! I was particularly aware of how I take my time and space for granted, for the first time, maybe ever, someone needed all of my time and sometimes she needed my space, she needed to be held, she needed me right there. For 48 hours, my time was not mine anymore and I realized how selfish I am with it.

Secondly, I learned that I like to be in control (well I already knew that), but this weekend it was painstakingly obvious! I wanted to fix everything in her life, I wanted this 48 hours to be life changing for her, I wanted to make her life better. After thinking a lot about my burning desire to fix everything for her I realized there's a lack of trust there. A lack of trust that God is her creator and sovereign over her life, that He is watching out for her and has her best in mind. My job was to give her a safe place for the weekend and show His love. That's all, a safe place.

Those are the two lessons I'm able to put into words, but there is so much more to work through and learn from. To summarize the weekend in a sentence, it was the most difficult and most rewarding weekend of my life. Today as the tweets came in of children needing homes this coming weekend it was all I could to not to cry in the office. I don't know how to balance what my life looks like right now and the needs of these children. God has some work to do in me, I need to learn how to serve Him in this way without getting burnt out, how to love His children well for His glory and not my own, how to focus on loving and caring for these children and not trying to fix every need. I am stepping out in faith that God has a plan in this, a plan for me and the children I get to meet. I have to trust that He knows what He's doing. He is my safe place so I can be their's.

Trusting, leaning, learning....